Saturday, June 19, 2010

Guess what I've been up to this week?

You guessed it, I had to have 'that' check up this week. And what a joy it was. Here in the UK they start testing you at 25, and you are sent a letter to make an appointment once every 3 years. That's better than in Holland, where I'm from. There you don't get tested until 30 and every 5 years.

This page is about more than just the test itself though. It's also about the frustration that my womb is empty and might never be filled with a new life. The clock is ticking HARD and FAST and although I'm very very happy for her, hearing that my Love's sister is pregnant with number 4 did bring out the tears.

I wrote down all the frustration and tears in the uterus-shape, then covered it with watersoluble crayons. I did not use water but watered down gesso to activate them, covering the text. I glued down bits and pieces of the little brochure that came with the letter asking me to make an appointment. All the fun stuff about what to expect from the test, that it might cause 'discomfort or pain' and that in England around 900 women a year die from cervical cancer. I covered them with blue paint because it looked a bit too clean.

Still not satisfied with the result I added some charcoal pencil to grunge it up a bit. I now actually like it. It is by far the most personal page I have ever done.


  1. These extremely emotional pages are the hardest to do, Eveline, but I think always the most helpful. i've been using white craft acrylic on my water soluble pastels. I really like that effect. I hope all will work out for you, and I'm glad our paths have crossed. Thanks for the support :o)

  2. Thank you so much. I don't do a lot of emotional or personal pages, and I don't really know why. I have tons of written journals with all kinds of emotional stuff in them, but somehow it's different for me to art journal about them. I should do it more! It really felt good to let it all out!

  3. You are brave to share your struggles on your blog. It is a huge emotional roller coaster that is very difficult to deal with. Hugs to you.

  4. Wat fijn dat ze in de UK vaker en vroeger testen, het is bij mij altijd een drama, omdat ik nogal "fijn" ben zeg maar.

    Ik snap je 'struggle' wel, al willen wij juist geen kinderen. (Div. Redenen)
    Ben blij dat ik je via Wyanne (twitter) heb gevonden!

    Liefs, karin

  5. Ja daar ben ik ook wel blij mee hoor, met dat vaker testen. Natuurlijk is het geen pretje, maar 'dat hoort erbij als je een vrouw bent' zullen we maar zeggen.

    Leuk weer een creatieve Dutchie te hebben gevonden!