Saturday, June 19, 2010
Guess what I've been up to this week?
You guessed it, I had to have 'that' check up this week. And what a joy it was. Here in the UK they start testing you at 25, and you are sent a letter to make an appointment once every 3 years. That's better than in Holland, where I'm from. There you don't get tested until 30 and every 5 years.
This page is about more than just the test itself though. It's also about the frustration that my womb is empty and might never be filled with a new life. The clock is ticking HARD and FAST and although I'm very very happy for her, hearing that my Love's sister is pregnant with number 4 did bring out the tears.
I wrote down all the frustration and tears in the uterus-shape, then covered it with watersoluble crayons. I did not use water but watered down gesso to activate them, covering the text. I glued down bits and pieces of the little brochure that came with the letter asking me to make an appointment. All the fun stuff about what to expect from the test, that it might cause 'discomfort or pain' and that in England around 900 women a year die from cervical cancer. I covered them with blue paint because it looked a bit too clean.
Still not satisfied with the result I added some charcoal pencil to grunge it up a bit. I now actually like it. It is by far the most personal page I have ever done.